This article appeared in todays Daily Telegraph. I post it here with no further comment.

A French hospital had to be evacuated after a man in his 80s presented to doctors with a First World War shell stuck inside his rear. Though the 88-year-old assured staff the shell was a collector’s item that had been deactivated, staff at the Sainte Musse Hospital in Toulon scrambled to evacuate some of its patients, redirect others, and call in the bomb squad.  “An apple, a mango, or even shaving foam…we’re used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn’t be,” an unnamed ER staffer told the local paper Nice-Matin, which broke the story. “But a shell? Never.”   The man’s appearance at the hospital required a major reshuffling and partial evacuation of patients, most notably the paediatric unit, to the main hall. For a few hours on that Saturday evening, new patients were also redirected to other hospitals. The gynaecology and maternity wards were the only units that operated mostly undisturbed.  As an added precautionary measure, a make-shift tent was also set up outside the hospital to treat the octogenarian in isolation.

When the bomb technicians confirmed that the shell was indeed inactive and ruled out the possibility of an explosion, doctors proceeded with the removal of the war relic. But as told to the Nice-Matin, “it rarely comes out from where it comes in”.    To extract the shell, which measured around six centimetres in diameter and 20 centimetres in length, doctors had to perform abdominal surgery and remove it from the other end.   The man had reportedly found the shell at his brother’s home. The surgery went smoothly and the patient is recovering.

Hospital management confirmed to Nice-Matin that the unusual incident occurred between 9pm and 11.30pm on Saturday “requiring the intervention of bomb defusers, the evacuation of adult and paediatric emergencies as well as the redirection of emergency flow”.

Along with an internal memo from hospital management thanking staff for their mobilisation that night, a photo of the extracted shell also made the rounds among workers and eventually on the internet after being posted online.

As you might expect, there were a number of comments contributed by readers.

1. The was an old man of Toulon
   With a shell inside his colon
   He dropped his trews
   And lit the fuse
   Now he’s halfway to Avignon.
2. He used to have a small arsenal, but not any longer.
3. Rectum? It nearly did.
4. There is a berm in my berm.  (Inspector Clouseau).
5. “The man had reportedly found the shell at his brother’s home.” So then decided to stick it straight up his jacksie? I know the French have some strange habits, but really!
6. The German Flak 88 was an awesome weapon. Coincidence? I think not!
7. I believe it’s called “Eiffel Syndrome”, as in “Eiffel on it”
8. I am forever amazed by selfish people who deliberately leave 2″ anti-tank shells standing where people are going to sit down. I suppose they think it is funny. Whatever next…25 pounders?